journal page 27

february 28, 2005
there is something phantom about the hotel rooms, which have round the clock shrill air conditioning leaving us compressed and scratchy. today its started to rain and outside the giant window is gray from east to west. rob just gave me some magic orange juice and says it will make me feel better tho i'm not sure if its entirely legal
february 27, 2005
the sun came out for the first time today in vancouver - we had been blanketed in constant fog since friday's seattle premiere - so i got to take a couple of nice walks with my day off. the city is beautiful and everyone here is rather slim and well dressed and very friendly. it is my first time in canada and i am looking forward to meeting the queen and seeing the majestic fjords. mike headed home after last night's canadian premieres and i'm here for another day after i talk to a school and show some of my older films. today i bought a shirt with a star on it. i don't feel like i've had a solid night of sleep for three days and have been staggering around to and fro with burning eyes, but i can't complain too much since rob's on the same schedule and has a lot more work to do on tour here than just show up at screenings and sound somewhat interesting. so i had been worried about our new soundtrack, which sounded warbly in LA and muffled in seattle, but was super bright and clear out here, so i guess it is a theater to theater thing.. maybe its related but the audiences up here seem to enjoy and penetrate the film the most so far. and last night people in the back row smiled and put their arms around each other during the long, pretty "nutcracker" shot thru space and that made me kinda happy

february 24, 2005
for fun we spent the other day driving in the intermittent rain shooting tourfilm footage for a band. i think it will all be projected behind them as they play this summer.. i planted myself at intersections and shot a covert little film of people stuck in their cars. meanwhile have somehow already come up with about 30 seconds of animation for a new film.. it's wrapped itself tight around my head now and has started making suckling noises so i guess it's definitely what's next on the menu. more reviews are coming in for "life" confirming that everyone seems universally perplexed, which i think i like.. the people who really love it so far are largely the ones who have already seen it more than once and dissected further, so i guess it takes a little time to digest and grow on you.. like a happy fungus. the reviews and box office so far for the new animation show in general though are brilliant, and is shaping up to be big vindication for all of the pitfalls we faced through year 1. let's keep the fingers crossed that this little train keeps chugging healthy, i'm really happy for all the artists involved. must get packing now.. will try to say hello from canada if my laptop behaves..
february 19, 2005
the LA premieres really eclipsed everyone's expectations.. fantastic audiences, sold out houses, maybe the best Q&As we've done, and really bizarre rainless lightning raging outside until five in the morning.. everything just seemed to click. it was my first time actually seeing the show as a whole program and in a theater, and after year 1's lessons we really have put together here truly the best animation program i've ever seen.. the early reviews are already better than last season's, which were very good in themselves. the only vaguely negative thing i've read so far about "life" is from critics who really enjoyed it but didn't think it was very funny, which seems like an odd thing to say about a film that is not a comedy. next week it's seattle and vancouver. i haven't shaved in a great long while and i kind of look like some sort of badger. i have already become bored and anxious at home and began animating a few tests of things a couple days ago for the next film, maybe.

february 13, 2005
the gallery exhibit's opening was pretty neat, a big thanks to kazu, ben, and all the volunteers for all their help, hard work, and good ideas. it took 15 hours to frame, nail, and hang everything up for display, i think we had over 150 pieces to show off. some very old memories up on those walls, as well as dozens of curious mementos from total memory gaps. everyone seemed really happy and i mostly just enjoyed watching people wander and look at everything. some were a bit overexcited or downright crazy-eyed, but i figure if i'm extremely nice to them now there's less a chance they'll come after me armed with a sharpie and a hammer thirty years down the road. anyway, a beautiful gallery if you have a chance to visit.
the dolby 5.1 remix went well and was sort of fun and finally the soundtrack is kicking in all the ways it was meant to. houston, we have bass. and you can finally feel the full orchestra. just separating the music from those front speakers has made a huge difference in cleaning all the vocal layers, too. my legs are sore and my voice is going. i know what the next film is going to be and to avoid the depressions of the last one i've promised myself the following: it is going to be done in pencils, it is going to be fun to make, it is going to be made quickly. tonight all of the people in the grocery store looked like demons.
february 5, 2005
sort of miss wearing a scarf. everybody seems to have returned home with a plague, been very rundown and kinda feverish.. was feeling a little better yesterday and crawled out to a couple santa barbara film fest screenings.. our projection last night was really shit and i was bummed out about it but then i got an email from a girl who said the film was so powerful she cried, and then i felt a lot better. it seems out of every screening there is one person who really seems to connect intensely, and i kind of like that. we upgrade the soundtrack to dolby digital on thursday i think and then saturday night is the opening of that gallery show in pasadena which should be fun. last night the entire neighborhood smelled like burning dog food. tonight i'm in a bad mood and i'm listening to jazz
january 29-30, 2005
sundance day nine-ten
yesterday's screening was great, played to a house of over 1200 people and everyone seemed happy and abuzz. "beautiful" is the universal feedback i'm hearing for "the meaning of life" which makes me happy, since it is shaping up to be one of those little puzzle films that could take a few viewings to really absorb everything.. so it's a relief to hear people in love with the piece even when a key point or two may have flown past them mid-stream. i wasn't able to make it back to salt lake for our final show this morning but i'm sure it went ok.. lately have just enjoyed bumming around town playing pool and stuff in lieu of seeing more films, i seem to have topped out my limit at fifteen. "three extremes" and "old boy" are both really good though and sara highly recommends "the squid and the whale", which i missed. tomorrow it's home.. i have run out of clean clothes and jesus my fingernails have gotten long. a ton of travel coming up next month, going to have to get used to this suitcase thing again. see you in california

hello, um this is my movie

january 28, 2005 sundance day eight felt a bit antisocial tonight and stayed in with lots of wine. we liked neil gaiman's "mirror mask" though lots of the cg kinda bothered me. in other news we're probably going to kick our dolby sound up a notch as soon as i get home, it's been coming out of these theater speakers a bit timid compared to the other films when it should be booming.. tomorrow's screening #4 for us so i'll be paying close attention. the ground was all brown and slushy today but i was finally able to make a snowball

january 27, 2005
sundance day seven
it finally started snowing today.. i should probably shave at some point. the hotel room is a mess. so far i've been stopped a dozen times by people on the street who all say they'd pictured me as several decades older, and fat and bald. i'm not sure what that means. just got in the door from crispin glover's "what is it?" which made me happy.. screaming snails and naked monkey girls. "frozen angels" and "the fall of fujimori" are really interesting docs, too. a shrill drunken woman on a bus was blathering loudly about her son's deodorant commercial premiering on television and then added that she didn't vote for john kerry because lots of his wife's money went to terrorist organizations. also sara and i got our picture taken in front of a moose
january 25-26, 2005
sundance day five-six
shuttling around from theater to open bar to theater to restaurant to theater to hotel to theater in a feverish state.. it's started raining a little which has actually made the weather a bit warmer. from top to bottom the daniel johnston documentary and "wolf creek" are really good and the new hal hartley was ok.. lots of other pleasant dramas and semi forgettable documentaries, and a film today that was so bad it made me want to claw my eyes out and replace them with rocks. right now it is beer, popcorn, animal planet

january 24, 2005 sundance day four just got in from our third screening, this one out in ogden, and though i'm starting to worry something might be awry with the overall punch of our optical track, everyone continues to dig the film and ask deep, probing questions. had our best Q&A thus far and am enjoying the feedback. sara arrived a little while ago and is currently administering a psychology test. i was to draw any picture out of basic shapes and from a box in a corner i drew an ocean cliff with a figure peering over the edge. almost got stuck in an elevator with ebert this afternoon. some of our fellow animators have to head home tomorrow and their company will be missed.. it's hard to believe that sundance is not even half over yet. we now have four days off until our next screenings so maybe i will actually get some sleep

january 23, 2005 sundance day three it's been getting a little colder and any piece of skin that isn't covered outside at night is unhappy. still can't really sleep. sort of laid low and went to a press junket thing today which was a bit of a wash despite crispin glover & open bar. rediscovering old restaurants and having a few park city flashbacks to years past, tho i haven't wiped out on the ice so far, not even once. crashed another film, haven't really seen anything life-altering just yet, and just now got in from a really late night/morning with new and old friends. i should probably shave at some point but i havent quite turned into a dog yet

january 22, 2005 sundance day two today's screening went great, was held in a much higher quality theater, better audience, smarter Q&A. all five of our screenings had sold out before i got here and now i guess we're getting some good word of mouth around town too. people are stopping me to ask what the meaning of life is and i've already run out of off-the-cuff witty retorts so have now moved on to pushing them over and running. the sundance catalog made a bit of an error by noting that the film was "interplanetary" which had confused some folks after the showing, so i should probably clear that up by saying that it does in fact all take place on earth and you might get a little more out of it with that knowledge. or not. i've been enjoying listening to the audiences and finally talking to people about it and hearing different points of view. the key to the film is whatever they project onto it and so far it's been really varied. today i finally got to see some other movies around town and tomorrow i have the whole day off to bum around and drink local beer. "polygamy porter - why just have one?" my body has been demanding troughs of food up here but so far having real trouble sleeping. today sundance gave me a parka and a hat

january 21, 2005
12:am something
sundance day one
hello from the road.. operating on very little sleep.. for some reason this laptop makes an urgent whizzy sound every 30 seconds and it makes me worry that it's up to something. i should be used to this by now, but i almost didn't make it to park city at all. was supposed to fly out yesterday but sat in the airport through two cancelled flights due to "freezing fog". got up at 4 this morning for round two and was cancelled again. considered trying to go by train but learned the tracks were closed. was barely able to snag the last stand-by seat on the only flight that actually made it to salt lake city this afternoon and then was off to the premiere. the film seems to make everyone smile. i think it was described in here at one point as sort of a warm blanket. the most common reaction tonight was, "it's so beautiful." so "life's" first screening went very well, albeit anticlimactic as there were no sudden theater cave-ins, mudslides erupting from the screen, or patrons bursting into flame. the Q&A was dreadfully boring though, and i plan to be more rested and coherent when we must do this the next four times. or just not in the right part of my brain yet to actually talk about the film. will try posting pictures at some point soon and it is a good bet there will be snow in them

january 16, 2005
it's done. after a sleepless hell week and one long day today, the lab just has to fine-tune three shots for the final release prints we'll get on wednesday. DONE. all done. smoking hot done. piping greasy done. take the movie out of the oven, it's done. and it is good. thank god, it is good. by leaps and bounds it's the best film i've made. i don't know how we managed to claw our way through these final ridiculous weeks but we did it. the first answer print is in sundance's hands for safekeeping and i'll be replacing it with this improved version for our actual screenings one day before i head out there.. talk about cutting it close. the ongoing bitter films post-production curse resurfaced last week, with the only open route to LA taking me 7 hours one-way through hills, snow, mudslides, sinkholes, road closures, and traffic, with another 4 hours to find my way home.. this is usually a 1.5 hour commute.. next we had a problem with the composite shot as well as some aggravating last minute errors in the neg cut. already there has been an avalanche reported in park city. no doubt every theater that eventually screens "the meaning of life" will implode in a cloud of debris and voodoo. but at least we finished the film, at long long last. rebecca deserves a medal for making sure this has all happened underneath this relentless storm of deadlines. the next time i'll write will be from sundance.. see you soon
january 9, 2005
magic apes and trick dust
higher forces are conspiring but we're forging through. the first look at the raw film last week was sobering and weird, much of it was dark and uneven and even our soundtrack came out really shrill. thankfully we have a quick and brilliant colorist on our side this time, and he's already lifted the footage back towards the brighter, vibrant levels we're used to seeing. unfortunately we were screwed by this other guy at the lab who neglected to mention he's not capable of creating the composite shot he's been sitting on since dec 10.. so we've had to rush that footage over to a different guy, but with the first print due at sundance in a matter of days he probably won't have enough time. so one of the space shots for our sundance audiences will have a little less sparkle in it than in the finished film, unless we can somehow miracle the footage in there.. it feels ridiculous to suddenly be rushing around after four years, but that's always the way these things go. tomorrow is our crucial third color session and the first time i'll hear a new improved soundtrack but now there are mudslides, floods, and road closures up and down the coast and i may actually have no open route to even get to los angeles. meanwhile sundance is reporting they may endure their coldest winter on record this year, with lows of -15 ..we always seem to finish these films under a curse, so we're just going to have to keep on swinging. i'll make it to LA tomorrow if i have to swim. sara saw the film for the first time the other day and said it was "very pretty". i have a headache in my left eye. all of the egg nog is on sale this time of year.
i just remembered that many years ago i vowed to take off and drive to the grand canyon when this film was finished once and for all.. thinking i should probably do that
january 5, 2005
tomorrow we face down the first color timing session in burbank, the final lab steps via correcting the color temperatures shot to shot + making sure the soundtrack's in synch, before the film's 100% finished. i'm trying to be cautiously optimistic, though we'll only have a week now to wrap everything up in time for sundance so i can't really relax or shut down yet. sort of like helplessly pacing around in a hospital waiting room, wondering whether your child will be born with its lungs sputtering on the outside. in the meantime i have been wondering when to start a new project and what exactly it will be and feeling kind of adrift. i have this piece still slowly fermenting in mind but i haven't figured out yet if it should be animated or work better as a comic book. i should probably just start rewriting soon, maybe at sundance, and see if it takes a certain form along the way. might also start doing meetings at the studios again and just see if anything happens. anyway i haven't been doing much the last couple weeks but read books and watch loads of films and tonight i caught "touching the void" and it rightly made me feel incredibly lazy and ridiculous
december 22, 2004
final soundtrack is finished and off to dolby.. i'd probably be tweaking the mix indefinitely if we had the time, so it was nice to just face down the deadline, make it official, and finally clear it out of my head. plus i think another week or two of mixing and remixing and tim's skin would have fallen off in little clumps shaped like multi tracks and treble clefs. so the entire film is in the lab's hands now, color correction and optical printing is next and then the first print is straight off to sundance, dripping with photo chemicals. not quite sure what to do with myself for the next week or two, i sort of feel like i'm on parole. i bought new shoelaces and saw "million dollar baby".. cut all my hair off and discovered my head to be rather square shaped. the other night i dreamt of a starving dog who kept throwing up the food i was trying to feed it
december 11, 2004
the soundtrack is rocking much better now and i've got barely any worries anymore about completing it next week. only a few new picture hurdles remain.. apparently a few of our special effect dissolves are impossible for the lab to work with, so rebecca and i need to revisit those monday and make them a little more conventional. not out of the woods yet..
in the meantime i'd like to encourage everyone to visit and sign up for the animation show's underground, a grassroots army of volunteers that has gathered to help promote the animation show's 2005 tour. this is the best way to ensure that all of these films will not only visit your hometown, but will stay there for more than a weekend. rob shared a bunch of information about what they're specifically looking for at the top of this thread here. the animation show gang needs your help now more than ever, so check it out..
december 9, 2004
picture is all finished and neg is cut. sound work continues though and needs to be all finished next week which is a bit daunting. tonight i was left feeling like we won't have enough time. the finished film needs to be at sundance by mid january at latest, and if we got a completed soundtrack to the optical house before the end of the year it will just leave us with about 10 days in january to tweak and fix it -- and never once have we ever had an optical track come out perfect.. synch problems, level problems, x curve problems. not to mention if we should end up with any weird problems on the picture side. so it's getting a bit serious and nervy. right now i love and hate the soundtrack.. most bits work very well and others i am still not convinced are meshing quite right.. more fine tuning.. at the moment sundance is a great screeching suck owl in constant need of press materials that we're trying to create on the fly, since the film is still unfinished. so i'll be under a storm cloud for a while and my hair will fall out but hopefully i will come out the other side ok. cross fingers

november 23, 2004
after tonight's mix i'm feeling a bit more confident with deadlines.. schizophrenic, often feeling like you have a trainwreck of work still ahead while still thinking it's all going swimmingly, but we ought to be able to polish this all off in relative comfort, knock on wood.. which is a good sign because it's the films that really suck that take the most amount of desperate grease and magic in these final weeks. the sound job in the crowd scenes approaches phenomenal and the music cues are near perfect now.. the film certainly has some overwhelming moments up its sleeve.. there is only one major chunk still missing in the soundtrack, a few additional animal scenes which we'll start work on friday. i've been having a great time doing this comic book on the side.. i've learned the photoshop ropes and for the first time in years i've been having fun illustrating motionless, immediate things again. discovered the boomerang network a couple of weeks ago, which plays around the clock some of the worst cartoons ever produced, featuring flying camels, alien vapors, and superdogs and i am completely hooked. winter is here and you can almost see your breath in my apt. my listerine is forming crystals
november 21, 2004
5am
"There are two ways to look at life. Actually, that's not accurate; I suppose there are thousands of ways to look at life. But I tend to dwell on two of them. The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently connected, and that the only driving force in anyone's life is entropy. The second is that everything pretty much stays the same (more or less) and that everything is completely connected, even if we don't realize it. There are many mornings when I feel certain that the first perspective is irrefutably true: I wake up, I feel the inescapable oppression of the sunlight pouring through my bedroom window, and I am struck by the fact that I am alone. And that everyone is alone. And that everything I understood seven hours ago has already changed, and that I have to learn everything again. I guess I am not a morning person. However, that feeling always passes. In fact, it's usually completely gone before lunch. Every new minute of every new day seems to vaguely improve. And I suspect that's because the alternative view - that everything is ultimately like something else and that nothing and no one is autonomous - is probably the greater truth. The math does check out; the numbers do add up. The connections might not be hard-wired into the superstructure of the universe, but it feels like they are whenever I put money into a jukebox and everybody in the bar suddenly seems to be having the same conversation. And in that last moment before I fall asleep each night, I understand Everything. The world is one interlocked machine, throbbing and pulsing as a flawless organism. This is why I will always hate falling asleep."
- - Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs
another round of minor editing in LA the other night and now i think the picture's locked for sure.. the new smoke and fireball footage (special effects magic = setting old t-shirt on fire with hair spray) looks great and we came up with a pair of clever smoke dissolves in the opening sequence that could come out really nice. i think we're actually going to A-B the negative a la our old 16mm days, in order to make sure all the film's fragile dissolves stay perfect. i just reshot a couple of crooked credits tonight, and that could be the very last spool of film to go through the camera for this thing. next up we face our optical process shots, which should be interesting if only because very few people in LA seem to even do purely optical printing anymore.. we are living relics.. most of the houses we've called have entirely moved over to digital stuff or don't touch their optical machines more than once or twice a year.. luckily i think we've finally found some competent people who can handle us. i'm more concerned with our sound now, despite everyone's separate efforts we still seem to face a hill of work. we'll need to have sound totally locked in about two weeks, which i think is do-able but could quickly get difficult. wow.. i'm really looking forward to not having to write any more boring production news in this thing for quite a long time. though it's all downhill now, i'm afraid i've become a dull automo-don, shuttling rapidly between being extremely busy and frustratingly not busy enough, wondering what to do with myself in the downtime but trying to stay useful by cleaning the kitchen window. it's going to be weird when this routine is over. i'm not sure if i should get back to writing the next film yet, or if it's even one i want to make anymore. there's still a piece of the puzzle missing maybe, or it may have just run circles in my head so many times that i feel like it's already been made and it's time to move on to something brand new. hey speaking of which, we just cut the official trailer for animation show 2005, which is opening in february in LA, followed by seattle and vancouver.. we're still putting together the first round of theater bookings and figuring out which cities i'll tag along to this time, there ought to be official news from the show sometime this week. and hey, ross sent over this video, it's a long download but well worth it. so i've almost finished that little piece for my friend's anthology graphic novel book thing. it's about the end of the world, sort of.. i think it's going to be called "dance of the sugar plums".. i did the whole story in post-it notes and it's coming along much better than i thought it would. aleksey, an animator from the animation show's first year, took this photo on a ferry in scotland and believes it to possibly be an alien spacecraft